i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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