also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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