doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize