singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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