matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Sext me about skeletons
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
