omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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