i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
