And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
