oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
