we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
