they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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