Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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