They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Randomize
