But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
