tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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