Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
