Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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