i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
