Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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