I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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