Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
