everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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