I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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