oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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