is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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