before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
