Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
