I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
