i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
