She's JV to your varsity
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
