I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
