I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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