We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
