Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
