dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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