i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
