There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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