I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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