Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
