Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
