So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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