In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
40s are totally the cure
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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