the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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