Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
