I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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