she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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