I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize