So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize