why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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