they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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