I heard we made out
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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