She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize