You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
