I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I pour the whiskey from now on
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
