You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
