I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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