Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
