He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
