he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
