i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize