I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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