Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
