it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
