i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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