Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize