So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
