so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
