YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
