Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
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