White coat. Heels.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
