Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize