my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
