ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
